These last few months have been filled with a lot of transition, disappointment, yet adventure. One thing is for sure, grief comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t necessarily come after the death of a loved one; it is the feeling of loss. For me, it was the loss of what I knew, the community I had, and the near-future plans for my girls. 

I recently turned 40, and the day after my birthday, I received yet another monkey-wrench that initiated more transition. While I can’t see all the “why’s” and “what’s next,” what is certain is that God’s plans are greater, and my faith continues to grow because He continues to provide and protect us in every season.

Uncertainty is laced in every transition, but so is reflection. As I look back on the last couple of decades, especially this last one where I became a wife and mom, I jotted down a few life lessons that I will carry with me into this next season.

40 Life Lessons for My 40s:

  1. Believe the best first
  2. Clear is kind
  3. The days are long, but the years are short
  4. It’s ok to go for it and fail
  5. You can always go back
  6. We collect friends along the way
  7. Move your body daily
  8. Have a quality skin care routine 
  9. Stop and listen 
  10. You don’t need to have the answer
  11. The body’s immune system is amazing
  12. It’s ok to see both sides
  13. The space between expectations and reality is disappointment
  14. Renegotiate everything in every new season
  15. Drink water
  16. Work hard to understand another’s perspective
  17. Over-communicate what you need
  18. Check-in with yourself regularly to evaluate your mental, spiritual and physical wellbeing 
  19. No one, but you, is responsible for your happiness
  20. Find your inner peace 
  21. Fight for your home to be a safe haven and peaceful 
  22. Ask men what they think and ask women how they feel
  23. Your feelings are temporary and should not be your life’s rudder
  24. When you have trust with another person, most challenges and issues can be worked out 
  25. Identify splinters in relationships early; over time they become wedges 
  26. Do not create a life in your head; one day, you’ll wake up living it by yourself
  27. Be unoffendable
  28. Realize people and people and dealing with more than you will ever know
  29. Have fun
  30. Figure out what makes your body feel best and do that 80% of the time
  31. Winning politically is not the same as winning spiritually
  32. Seek God daily
  33. Bedtime may not be your best time to connect with your kids, but find the time that works and make it priority
  34. While Friday night movie night may not seem like a big deal, but week in and week out, the kids cheer for it – keep it, honor it and make it tradition
  35. Be genuinely interested in learning about others – ask questions about people you meet, and ask follow-up questions, and keep asking questions to learn more
  36. Remember people’s names; and when you forget, apologize and ask for it again
  37. When you receive a gift, say thank you 
  38. Send handwritten thank-you notes
  39. Don’t strive for balance; create harmony 
  40. Gods plan is the best, even when it doesn’t make sense 

What are your lessons, your pillars, or your mantras that you live by? 


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