These last few months have been filled with a lot of transition, disappointment, yet adventure. One thing is for sure, grief comes in all shapes and sizes and doesn’t necessarily come after the death of a loved one; it is the feeling of loss. For me, it was the loss of what I knew, the community I had, and the near-future plans for my girls.
I recently turned 40, and the day after my birthday, I received yet another monkey-wrench that initiated more transition. While I can’t see all the “why’s” and “what’s next,” what is certain is that God’s plans are greater, and my faith continues to grow because He continues to provide and protect us in every season.
Uncertainty is laced in every transition, but so is reflection. As I look back on the last couple of decades, especially this last one where I became a wife and mom, I jotted down a few life lessons that I will carry with me into this next season.
40 Life Lessons for My 40s:
- Believe the best first
- Clear is kind
- The days are long, but the years are short
- It’s ok to go for it and fail
- You can always go back
- We collect friends along the way
- Move your body daily
- Have a quality skin care routine
- Stop and listen
- You don’t need to have the answer
- The body’s immune system is amazing
- It’s ok to see both sides
- The space between expectations and reality is disappointment
- Renegotiate everything in every new season
- Drink water
- Work hard to understand another’s perspective
- Over-communicate what you need
- Check-in with yourself regularly to evaluate your mental, spiritual and physical wellbeing
- No one, but you, is responsible for your happiness
- Find your inner peace
- Fight for your home to be a safe haven and peaceful
- Ask men what they think and ask women how they feel
- Your feelings are temporary and should not be your life’s rudder
- When you have trust with another person, most challenges and issues can be worked out
- Identify splinters in relationships early; over time they become wedges
- Do not create a life in your head; one day, you’ll wake up living it by yourself
- Be unoffendable
- Realize people and people and dealing with more than you will ever know
- Have fun
- Figure out what makes your body feel best and do that 80% of the time
- Winning politically is not the same as winning spiritually
- Seek God daily
- Bedtime may not be your best time to connect with your kids, but find the time that works and make it priority
- While Friday night movie night may not seem like a big deal, but week in and week out, the kids cheer for it – keep it, honor it and make it tradition
- Be genuinely interested in learning about others – ask questions about people you meet, and ask follow-up questions, and keep asking questions to learn more
- Remember people’s names; and when you forget, apologize and ask for it again
- When you receive a gift, say thank you
- Send handwritten thank-you notes
- Don’t strive for balance; create harmony
- Gods plan is the best, even when it doesn’t make sense
What are your lessons, your pillars, or your mantras that you live by?
